Its always darkest before the dawn
by FaerieSalvatore.xo
Summary: Caroline Forbes' guide to dying. A story about friendship, family and second chances.'We each have different expectations of what paradise will be like. But no one can really imagine.' CarolinexTyler
1. Prologue

**Its Always Darkest Before The Dawn  
>~Caroline Forbes' Guide To Dying~<strong>

Can't be sure of how's it's going to be When we walk into the light across the bar But I'll know you and you'll know me Out there beyond the stars  
>Johnny Cash- will you meet me in heaven? <p>

**Prologue- Imagine.**

When we think of heaven, we imagine the most perfect place. Where suffering and sorrow are non-exsistent and where pain is a mere myth. We imagine the brightest light engulfing our soul. Sadness erased.

Its different for everyone, I think. We each have different expectations of what paradise will be like.

But no one can really imagine.

We comfort ourselves with different theories, so we aren't as scared when our time comes to be welcomed by the pearly white gates. We like to think that maybe we'll be reunited with loved ones we've lost. Wondering wether or not that last moment with them really was goodbye, or simply a farewell until the next time we saw them in the sky.

We fantasize leaving our fears behind, the tangible taste of adventure in our reach. We imagine being capable of anything and everything.

But we never imagine our final hours.

My name is Caroline Forbes. And this is the story of how I died.

**So guys, this is my first fanfiction on this account and I wanted to try something a little bit different. Different kind of plot, different use of characters.. that sort of thing. **

**Anyway, I know this prologue is pretty doom and gloomish and extremely morbid, but I felt as if it was neccassary to write for where Im going with this story. **

**I don't know wether you readers believe that there really is a heaven, or wether you think Im just writing crap, I hope you enjoyed it all the same and will take the time to review!**

**:)**

**xx**


	2. Rainy Days

**This story was from my old account Stereoheartsx but i left it too long to carry on so i thought'd it'd be best if i started from scratch and did it all over again, although i still have the same prologue.**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p><strong>Chapter One-<strong>

There was cold rain all saturday, and Caroline sat by the window watching it pepper down on the growing puddles in the deserted street outside. Literature and Biology books were scattered around her, with messy handwriting that scribbled notes in the margins and curled over pages that left it dog eared and battered. She tore her eyes away from her neighbours running for shelter from the driving rain outside and focused again on an extract from Macbeth, but her eyes barely comprehended the words. All she could think about was her appointment at the doctors the following morning.

Ever since she was little, she had never liked hospitals. She vaguely remembered the times she was dragged kicking and screaming to get her jabs, and crying for hours on end. Now that she was seventeen, it was a whole different ball game. She had to be sensible. Grown up. And she didn't like it one bit.

Thankfully, her phone rang, providing a distraction for a minute or two. She sat upright, the books falling to the carpert and stared hard at the name pulled up on the screen. A smile tugged at her mouth and she pressed the phone to her ear. "Why miss Elena Gilbert, to whom do I owe this pleasure?"

On the other end of the reciever, Caroline heard Elena laugh softly, before the seriousness kicked in. "Care, I need to talk to you."

The smile faded from Caroline's face, replaced with a concerened frown line. "What is it, Elena?"

Elena sounded as if she were about to cry, her coughs trying to hide her sniffles. "Im in trouble, Caroline. Big trouble."

Caroline bit her lip as she went about trying to find a jacket, forgetting all about her books lying strewn across the floor. "Don't worry Elena. I'll be there in 5. Just- Just sit tight."

With great reluctance, Caroline slipped outside into the hammering rain and made a mad dash for her car parked half and half on the sidewalk. She found that she was already thorougly soaked before she could even close the car door behind her and she shivered momentarily. The heater soon warmed her up and she sped towards the Gilbert household. It took Caroline longer than she thought it would, but the rain sheilded the windscreen and even the wipers had trouble keeping up. Eventually, she pulled up curbside and readied herself to go back outside.

The wind had picked up and she felt her jacket being pushed back, allowing more water to seep through. She was fairly certain that she would get pneumonia her teeth were chattering that much. She knocked three times, swiftly and loudly. The front door swung open, fast, and a hand clamped around her arm, pulling her in.

"Caroline!" Jeremy's voice was a mixture of surprise and worry. "Are you stupid? Oh my god, your freezing. I'll get you a towel" Jeremy motioned for her to follow him and she gratefully sank deeper into the warmth of the house. "That rains gonna progress into a storm soon. What were you thinking?" He babbled on, handing her a thick blue towel. Caroline shrugged and watched as he went about putting the kettle on. "I- uh, Elena needed me."

Jeremy looked up from the two mugs set on the counter and raised his eyebrows. "Its that important?"

"Yes. Jer, it is."

"Okay, then. Well, she's upstairs." His eyes travelled towards the ceiling before they met her's. "Tea?"

"That'd be great, thank you." Caroline buried her face into the towel, drying the ends of her hair. She was more than certain that she looked like a drowned rat. "Im just gonna- Yeah." She tiptoed up the stairs, looking at all the family photo's lining the wall as she went. Elena hadn't changed much. Neither had Jeremy. Except neither of them had vacancies where their front teeth should be.  
>"Elena?" Caroline called out.<p>

There was a few moments silence before Elena's voice carried out into the hallway. "In here."

Elena's room hadn't changed much either. The walls had been repainted, a few more books added to the shelves and a single bed swapped for a double. Lying in a foetal posistion atop the covers was Elena, hugging the teddy she had had since birth closely to her chest.

"Oh, 'Lena." Caroline sighed in sympathy, watching as the brunnette's body shook from the sobs errupting from her throat.

"I messed up, Caroline. I really messed up!"

Caroline slipped off her wet shoes, not really caring if the rest of her clothing was soaked, and climbed onto the bed. "How about you stop crying and tell me what's happened?" she suggested, laying a hand comfortingly on her best friends arm. "Its the only way I'll be able to help."

Elena opened her eyes, red and puffy, then smiled faintly before bursting out into tears again. She took a deep breath. "Im pregnant, Caroline. And it isn't Stefan's."

Involountarily, Caroline let out a surprised gasp. "Oh my god, Elena. Well, who's is it?"

Elena sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "Its Damon's." She said quietly, almost inaudibly.

"Damons?"

Caroline was instantly shushed by more sobs, and she bit her lip, holding her tongue back. "Are you sure?"

"Ask the seven pregnancy tests in my underwear drawer. Im definitely sure."

Caroline shook her head. "No, Elena. I mean are you sure its Damon's?"

Elena's eyes watered over again and the tears streamed down her face in buckets. "Im more than sure. Stefan and I haven't really done anything in months. Then last month, Damon and I got drunk. It just- sort of happened."

Everything clicked into place. _Of course, _Caroline thought._ That's why they haven't spent more than two minutes in the same room. I knew something was up._ But now wasn't the time to say 'I told you so', so she embraced the brunette in a hug instead.

"Caroline, your soaked, and your shaking." Elena said suddenly realising the reason for Caroline's teeth chattering. "Wait, let me get you some more clothes." Elena hopped off the bed, leaving beary the bear where he lay and rooting through her drawers.

Caroline couldn't hold her tongue any longer. She had to know. "I know this is completely inappropriate." She began, unsure if she should go on. "But, was it good?"

There wasn't any need for Caroline to elaborate. Elena knew exactly what she was talking about and her cheeks instantly reddened, her heart beating rapidly. "It was incredible." She whispered. And that was the end of that. "Here." Elena handed Caroline a pair of pyjama shorts and a tank top. "Your welcome to shower if you like. It really means a lot to me that you came, Caroline."

Caroline smiled, sliding off the bed, more than aware that the bed sheets were now wet. "Your welcome. I know that you'd do it for me, so how can I not do it for you? Anyway, I think Im gonna take that shower, now."

Elena laughed melodically, and everything was back to normal for a moment.

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><p>It was sunnier when the two girls woke up the next morning. Puddles still littered the sidewalk and the grass had sunk, but other than that, it was much cheerier. Caroline stalked downstairs into the kitchen where Jeremy, Jenna and Elena was chatting and laughing, and she felt as if she were intruding. But Jenna spotted her and waved her in, invinting her to share the pancakes Jeremy had so kindly made.<p>

"Good Morning." She beamed, taking the mug outstretched to her from Jeremy's hand.

"Morning," Elena smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

Caroline shrugged nonchantly. "After the rain died down, I got a few hours. You?"

"I did, thanks. But then Jer's alarm had to go off at half past six in the morning." Elena shot daggers in her little brothers direction and he smirked.

"What can I say?" he shrugged, nipping at his coffee. "Im an early riser."

Caroline was confused and her eyes widened in panic. "Wait, what time is it now?"

Jenna, peering into the fridge, pulled up her cardigan sleeve and studied her watch. "Its... Five past nine."

Caroline placed her mug on the counter and ripped the bobble from her hair. "Dammit, Im late! I have a doctors appointment in ten minutes."

Elena finished her mouthful of pancakes, then made her way to the kitchen table where her coat was laying across one of the chairs. The keys in her pocket jingled. "I'll come with you." She suggested, and Caroline gave her a warm smile.

"Sure. Just let me get dressed."

Caroline quickly shimmied into the clothes she wore yesterday, the jeans clinging uncomfortably to her thighs from the dampness still lingering and brushed through her hair once, pulling it back up into a ponytail again when she couldn't get it to lay right.  
>Elena was stood by the door as she came down the stairs and she held two travel mugs, each containing herbal tea. Caroline gratefully took one by the handle and pulled open the door. It wasn't raining anymore.<p>

The air smelled like rain, wet bark. It comforted both the girls as they made their way to Caroline's car, each for different reasons. For Caroline, it was the start of a new day, and for Elena, it was that no matter how bad things got, it always got better in the end. The drive to the doctors was quiet, but Caroline was grateful for the support. She couldn't bring herself to ask her mother to go with her, but Elena offering, without being asked, made her 'grown up' approach more reasonable. Elena was just a concerned friend, offering comfort where it was offered to her.

"Are you scared?" Elena asked suddenly as they waited at the intersection. Caroline bit her lip, eyes watching the road in front of her.

"Is it bad if I say yes?"

Elena chuckled lightly. "Its okay if you are. Im afraid of dentists?" she offered.

Caroline laughed, letting her had fall back. "Is that your way of making me feel better?"

Elena shrugged. "Is it working?"

"Kind of."

"Then yeah, it is."

With a flick of her wrist, they were no prowling for spaces in the clinics car park, Caroline's heart beat drumming in time with her fingers tapping against the steering wheel. Much to her dismay, she found a spot quicker than she though she would, and reversed in, hands shaking and clammy.

"It'll be okay, Care." Elena re-assured. "If you want, I'll come in with you."

Caroline forced a weak smile, the pain in her abdomen increasing every moment she delayed getting out the car. Before now, she hadn't paid attention to it. She was on her period, so put it down as a case of the cramps, but it had been a week now, and it was no longer that time of the month.

Inside, the familiar, sickening smell of bleach attacked Caroline's nose, and Elena even made a noise in the back of her throat as it wafted up her nostrils before dragging the reluctant blonde towards the reception desk.  
>"Hi, this is Caroline Forbes, and she has an appointment today with Dr Jayson at quarter past." Elena smiled warmly at the receptionist. The redhead sat behind the desk smiled back and began tapping away on her computer.<p>

"Nervous?" She asked, turning away from Elena and directing her question at Caroline. Caroline nodded softly and bit her lip. "Its okay," The redhead assured her. "Your in good hands with Doctor Jayson. If you go through, he'll see you now."

The only problem was, Caroline didn't want to move. She wanted to stand in the spot until the clinic closed and Dr Jayson went home, unable to see her. But Elena's hand clamped around her arm dragged her forward through the sidedoor to Dr Jayson's office. Even the name plaque adhered to the wall was intimidating.

Elena knocked once, softly and a voice floated through. "Come on in, Miss' Forbes."

Caroline took a deep breath and looked at the brunette stood beside her. "Im glad your here." she said, then clasped the door knob and entered the room. Elena placed a hand on her friends back in a comforting way and followed.

"Now, Miss Forbes, what can I do for you today?"

Dr Jayson was quite young, late twenties, Caroline imagined, and he was far better looking than most small town doctors. His smile seemed to liven up the room, and Caroline found herself smiling back. She almost forgot that she was terrified right now.

"Hello, Dr Jayson. This is my friend, Elena." Caroline introduced them.

Elena strided up and outstretched her hand. "Its nice to meet you, Dr Jayson."

The young man took it, and nodded his head. "Its a pleasure."

Caroline cleared her throat and continued. "I uh- I've been having these abdominal pains for about a month now, and at first I put it down to period pains, but Im not experiencing any bleeding."

Dr Jayson's smile faded and he motioned for the two girls to sit. He took his own seat behind the desk and leant forward. "So your saying, you are no longer on your period yet you are having cramp-like symptoms?"

Caroline nodded.

Dr Jayson stood abruptly and took a small container off of one of the many shelves linging the room. "Miss Forbes. If you wouldn't mind going to the toilet and producing a urine sample, it would help me immensely. Toilets are down the hall."

Caroline took the beaker from his hand and looked back at Elena whose face was contorted into a mixture of worry and surprise. "Sure." She heard herself mumble.

Once Caroline had exited the room, Elena turned on the man before her. "Do you think there could be something seriously wrong?"

Dr Jayson sat back down in his chair and ran a hand through his hair. "Im sorry, Miss..?"

"Gilbert." Elena provided.

"Miss Gilbert. But its hard for me to say at this point. Once I've ran some tests on Miss Forbes's urine, I could them come to some sort of conclusion, but for right now, my hands are tied."

The sound of the door opening made both Elena and Dr Jayson jump, and Caroline appeared, holding the sample. "Here you go, Doc."

Dr Jayson stood again and took the beaker. He smiled softly. "If you wouldn't mind. I'd like to run some tests. If you'll come back tomorrow at the same time, I should have some results."

Caroline breathed out heavily, and felt tears spring to her eyes. She prayed it wasn't anything serious. That it was just a phase that would soon pass. But the words 'test' and 'results' had her expecting the worst. Elena was by her side again, leading her towards the door.

"Thank you, doctor." Elena called out. "We'll see you tomorrow."

The door clicked shut behind them and Caroline carried herself back to the desk to make another appointment for the same time tomorrow. The redhead pressed a card across the surface towards Caroline with the date and time of her visit, then they were outside, the smell of bleach no longer invading their nostrils.

"Im scared Elena. More than I've ever been. I have a feeling that its something really serious, and I just can't shake it." Caroline confided, tears streaming down her face. Sobs eruppted from her body, and Elena enveloped her in a tight hug.

"There is nothing to be scared of Caroline. Everything is gonna be fine." Elena whispered, repeating it like a mantra. "Here, I'll drive."

Caroline wiped at her eyes and pulled away, then looked up at the sky. It looked as if it were going to rain again. Elena's words played over and over in her head, trying to take away her fear.

She just wished she would believe it.

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><p><strong>So there it is:) This fanfiction wont exactly be a happy one, but hopefully it'll be just as good as.<strong>

**Please review and tell me what you think! I hope you enjoyed it!**


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